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Grouper Texts
* Sturgeon's General Warning *
These are real texts from actual Groupers.
Jen
He had really nice lips like Trouty Mouth. I bet he’s a really good kisser, if you know what I mean
Well you said it outright, so yes, I get what you mean
Erica
105
Sorry the guys are running late. Stay put a second. I told the bar that you guys get around.
Challen
Hannah
!?!?
A ROUND A ROUND. You guys get a round.
Challen
Most important space ever.
Challen
93
he was my favorite probably because he kept telling me how cool I was. Never underestimate the power of ego stroking
Molly
Carol
That’s what she said?
69
Josh
She started texting under the table and all I saw was “Big Hands!!!!” I’d say we’re off to a good start.
68
Caitlin
How did it go?
Well, we dubbed them Sloppy Drunk, Touchy McFeely, and Le Douchebag.
Lara
Caitlin
So... bad?
Well, we're going wine tasting with Douchebag next week
Lara
68
We're talking about nipples and childhood masturbation.
Rachel
Challen
So are we. Weird...
67
Joe
how are r the girls?
really hot
Kyle
Joe
for internet girls?
nah, regular girls hot
Kyle
67
Kate
Well they all work for startups that are doing really well. Probably don’t have to worry about them having an “expired credit card” and footing me with the bill. Grouper - 1, OkCupid - 0
66
Janet
Um, one of them showed up shirtless
Strangely enough, not a Grouper first.
Challen
65
Nicole
I hit it off with the blonde guy. He called me a breeder. I’m going to assume it’s because of my education and awesome personality and not my birthing hips.
63