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Grouper Texts
* Sturgeon's General Warning *
These are real texts from actual Groupers.
Cali
So hungover that I just told my boss to be an adult about something. Please start passing out my resumes.
At least you didn't put 1996 for the year as today's date in an email.
Jesse
47
Ali
The quote of the night was, "Let's order some crackers so we can rub them all over you."
WTF?!?
Annie
Ali
I told them I'm allergic to gluten and when I touch it I get really warm and want to tear off my clothes...
Ali
I was also three tequilas in.
Good job
Annie
18
Faye
I'm so hungover. I'm dying. This is horrible.
I feel great! Probably cuz I had Fiji water at the strip club.
Lindsay
22
Paloma
"Just Google 'meat muffins' and let's see how deep the rabbit hole goes."
13
Stephanie
So... the guy on the right in your Groupergram.. I definitely made out with him in NOLA last month.
11
Rachel
This is going downhill quickly. They don't know dr dre
17
Kevin
Jon just told me you guys went on a grouper last night.. I wanna hear all about it!
Well I have a chipped tooth, a massive hangover, and I vaguely recall making out with one of the chicks at pesos haha.
Jesse
17
You saw him in his underwear playing guitar. That's how that night came to a close.
Brian
Elizabeth
Pure class.
13
Dude, Beth was not as slutty as she eluded to be.
20
Drew
I have an umbrella here that I think is yours?
I have a hickey here that I think is yours?
Carly
21