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Grouper Texts
* Sturgeon's General Warning *
These are real texts from actual Groupers.
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Rachel
This is going downhill quickly. They don't know dr dre
1
Kevin
Jon just told me you guys went on a grouper last night.. I wanna hear all about it!
Well I have a chipped tooth, a massive hangover, and I vaguely recall making out with one of the chicks at pesos haha.
Jesse
5
You saw him in his underwear playing guitar. That's how that night came to a close.
Brian
Elizabeth
Pure class.
2
Dude, Beth was not as slutty as she eluded to be.
2
Drew
I have an umbrella here that I think is yours?
I have a hickey here that I think is yours?
Carly
2
Betty
All right. Listen. The other night. Don't take that seriously. Sometimes I say things I don't mean. For example, when I tooted under the covers, I had a feeling it might smell, but I felt like gambling a bit. You know? Roll the dice? Toss the salad? Peel the banana? Speaking of. I'm hungry.
3
Mason
I don't remember anything after the second drink at Tate's. I woke up with blood on my forehead. It is a situation.
Mason
Did we have fun?
3
Brooke
Why did they bring a kid?
I'm sorry, WHAAAATT?
Grouper
Brooke
A kid, they brought a kid.
That would be a Grouper first... are you sure it's not his wingman?
Grouper
Brooke
Does a wingman bring legos to a bar?
1
Carly
On my way to the bar, running a few late.
I'm already here.
Arlene
Carly
Sorry. Couldn't find my pants.
Carly
It's a recurring problem I have.
1
Tara
You yelled at a blind guy, Kelli got black listed, and I rejected the guy who kissed me. Awkwarddd
2